guilt

it’s the quality

not the quantity of time

that yields no regrets

I can’t get the word “temporary” off my mind today. It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that every detail of this day (and every day) is temporary- the snow…the beautiful way it shines like diamonds in the sun…the girl’s excitement over getting to stay home another day- tomorrow it will all be gone. Our circumstances, those “hiccups” in our daily plans? All temporary.

Even my “little girls” are temporary- and who am I kidding? They aren’t so little anymore. My oldest is so big, she’s wearing my coat! How in the world did she grow up so fast?!

These snow days have left me feeling a little melancholy. Sometimes I feel like I missed out on so much when they were little. I was blessed to have taught piano and voice lessons in my home when they were young, but I wish I could go back and do it all over…

and clean a little less…play a little more…prioritize my time better…

pray more and worry less…and not feel so guilty about everything little thing I did or didn’t do…

I regret not savoring those special snow days when the girls were little. I used to feel so guilty for having to cancel my music lessons and for not working, that I didn’t allow myself to enjoy those days.

I had a lot of quantity time with the girls- but not much of it was quality time. I rushed them around with me every morning- teaching aerobics, doing errands, make lunch, and pray they napped so I could clean my “office” – which was my entire house. Every day.

Those “little girl” days were temporary.

Thankfully, those days of rushing here and there are far enough behind me that the girls don’t even remember them- but there are days like today that I do. I am thankful for His grace, and thankful that He knows how to remind me to slow down and appreciate more of these “moments” now. Because every one of them are temporary, and we never get them back.

So, now I ask myself this often-

When tomorrow comes, what would I regret not doing today?

and then I do it.

No more guilt- no more regrets.

Teach us to number our days,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12