be the church

One of the things I love doing in the car when I am driving alone is to pray out loud. I just start talking to the Lord and I will start off praying about something and then it’s like He puts other people and things to pray for in my thoughts… so I just keep on praying until I get to my destination. When I am driving to teach music lessons, I pray for my students. I pray for each of them and then pray that He would use me in their lives for His glory.

As I was praying the other day, He gave me this amazing thought – some of your students don’t know who I am… and some of them have never even been to a church. But YOU are the church because you are my disciple and my Spirit lives in you… so when your students come to take lessons from you- it’s sort of like they are going to “church”.

And then I prayed that He would give me opportunities to do just that- be the church!

And guess what happened? One of my students mentioned that she had gone on a youth retreat this past weekend. She had a great time, but the whole week afterwards had been very challenging. The Lord prompted me to ask her if she would like to sing worship songs during her lessons.

She mentioned a song that she really liked- and it was one I knew by heart. I began to play the piano introduction, and her whole demeanor changed. She closed her eyes and sang with emotion. I told her this was the kind of music that would help encourage her when she was feeling down.

When our lesson was over, I shared with her mom about our conversation and that we would also work on singing a few worship songs. Her eyes lit up, and then she opened her jacket to show me her t-shirt which read “Jesus is dope”. She shared with me that they had just gotten back into a church after going through a tough time.

And then I planted a seed- I said who knows? Maybe the Lord will have your daughter singing and leading worship at your church one day!

It was one of several amazing holy spirit- led conversations I had that day. I often wonder- would these conversations have happened if I hadn’t have prayed for these opportunities?

You are the body of Christ. Each one of you is a part of it. – 1 Corinthians 12:27

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Radiate

I had just left church to grab lunch for David and I. Both of us have been under the weather for what seems like weeks. David stayed home from church and I went, but I had no voice. That is no fun leading worship when you don’t have a voice to sing or even speak. BUT we have an awesome worship team- and it’s not about me anyways! So I got to worship through playing piano and the team really stepped up and sang their hearts out!

It was a little weird leaving church without my hubby, and I wasn’t feeling the best either. I have been discouraged because I have not felt well for weeks now and after a while it gets you down, know what I mean?! Anyway, I got to the restaurant and gave them my to-go order, paid, and then sat down in a chair to wait for it.

I took out my phone, and immediately put it back in my bag. I just felt like was going to miss out on something. Who would have thought I had FOMO on being PRESENT?! That’s something I need to do more of!

I happened to look at the line of people waiting to order, and there was a really sweet couple standing at the register ordering their food. It was taking them a while to order, and the cashier was being so patient with them. This was a special couple- they both appeared to have down syndrome, and they kept staring at each other- grinning from ear to ear! It was the absolute most beautiful thing to see two people so in love. They stood there for a moment, and then a lady came up behind them to give them money. She looked like she was possibly the mother of one of them. They paid for the order and then took the change with absolute glee.

I was honestly a little jealous of their child-like wonder. They were so filled with joy- just standing there together in love, not a care in the world, their smiles lighting up the whole room. Nothing else mattered. In that moment I began to think about all of the moms through the years who have been faced with the prospect of having a child with special needs. How many special needs pregnancies have been terminated due to fear of the unknown, not knowing if they could handle raising a child that was different? Or maybe they were pressured by doctors to make a choice they hadn’t even considered being an option. I began to cry sitting there in the restaurant. I was filled with joy watching the two of them, and my joyful tears spilled out.

My number was called, and I grabbed my to-go order. I really wanted to speak to the mom but I didn’t know what to say. In a split second, I realized the only clear path out of the restaurant was right in front of this lady’s table. I walked up to the table and asked her if she was related to the couple at the register. She smiled so proudly. “Yes, that is my son.” I told her that I saw the love and joy they had on their faces and that it was very moving. She said that they had just recently gotten engaged to each other. How wonderful. I told her I just wanted to let her know that their beautiful smiles and the love and joy on their faces really blessed me. She smiled and said “they bless me every day!”

We have all been created by Him for His purpose. I don’t know if that couple knew Jesus, but I can tell you that the love of Jesus radiated all around them.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16

Happenstance

One of the best things about leaving my full time job recently is that I have more time to do things I love! And the awesome thing is that the more time I make for Him, the more I see Him at work around me.

Like Wednesday.

Wednesday mornings I go to a senior living center and do a mini worship service- we sing hymns, I sing a special song or two, and then I share a 10 minute devotional with them. It is one of the highlights of my week! Since I knew I would already be in town, I also arranged to meet a new friend for lunch. This is someone I had just met- but the Lord led me to reach out and spend time with her.

On the way to meet her, I kept thinking about one of my friends whom I hadn’t spoken to in several weeks. I’m going to call her on the way home, I thought to myself as I pulled up to the restaurant. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and my new friend got there at the same time as I.

We ordered and then sat down to eat. After about 5 minutes, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. Would you believe it was the SAME person that I was going to call that afternoon?! This is someone who hardly goes out… and here she was in the same restaurant as I! And then I look over at her table, and there was another friend from church with her. I couldn’t believe it. But then, there is no such thing as happenstance when we walk with God!

After our lunch, I took my new friend to introduce her to my friend. After the introductions, both of these precious ladies shared with me some prayer requests. Hard situations with no real answers. I have learned through the years, that prayer IS the most important thing we can ever do for people. “Let’s pray now, ” I said as I grabbed their hands.

And right in the restaurant we went to the Father, interceding in prayer for these situations. There was a sense of peace that came over me as I prayed. I can’t explain it other than I know God wanted me to be there at that moment doing exactly what I was doing.

As I drove home, I praised God for how he orchestrates the steps of my life. I am so thankful that I “get to” serve Him in all these little, meaningful ways!

And what a blessing to know that we can BE the church- right in the middle of a restaurant!

Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.

– Psalm 119:133

My Density

Back to the Future is one of my all time favorite movies. I love it when George McFly sees his beloved Lorraine and says “You’re my density… I mean, my destiny!”

This past year has brought so much change for my family and I. Some of the changes have been hard, and others have been huge blessings to us. Last January, I left both of my part-time jobs to take on a full time position with a non-profit ministry. It was an exciting challenge, and I really needed a change.

But by summertime, there was an emptiness setting in.

In late August, I saw a random Facebook advertisement for auditions for a community chorus. Well, that’s something I always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of juggling kids and work and all that other stuff. But now, it was something that I could make time for! I emailed the contact person, and they soon called me to set up an audition time.

It was so fulfilling to do the audition! I sang a prepared piece, and then sight read a few pages of music they handed me. It was a piece of cake- and I was so proud of myself for doing something that I had been wanting to do for so long. I hadn’t done an audition or sang in a chorus in nearly 25 years! Shortly after the audition, I received an email saying I had been selected to be in the chamber ensemble chorus.

The first night of practice, I fought back tears as I sang. I didn’t realize how much I had missed making music! It was like finding a piece of myself that I had lost.

I often have dreams- and they are mostly about music. Singing, teaching lessons, directing choirs… I have had these dreams for years. But I have struggled with the idea that being a music teacher is not enough. I have struggled through the years to find the thing God has called me to do, and all the while it has been right in front of me.

A few weeks ago, I called the music studio where I used to teach lessons part time. Are you looking for a voice teacher? I asked the owners.

Julie, we never hired anyone after you because we couldn’t find anyone with the right qualifications.

And in that moment, I felt a peace come over me.

Making music is my density…. er, I mean my destiny.

It’s the one common theme of my life- the thing that brings me the greatest joy and connects me to God. And making music connects me to other people. I LOVE making music with others and helping them to find joy in it!

So, with my husband’s blessing, I stepped out in faith and recently quit my full-time job to pursue teaching voice and piano lessons again. I am ready to pour out my skills and encouragement on others through music. I just know that the Lord has people waiting for me.

But more importantly- I’m just following the Lord’s nudges.

And that IS enough.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.- Jeremiah 29:13

Home

Yesterday was a special anniversary for us-18 years ago on July 10th, we moved to Charlottesville.

If you had asked me even a month before we made the decision to move, I would have told you there was NO WAY we would EVER leave our hometown. Our entire family was there- and so was everyone and everything we had ever known…but my husband was looking for a job and there were literally no companies that were hiring at that time. I remember him saying we might need to move somewhere for me to find a job. And my first thoughts are always selfish ones. NO WAY am I moving.

And the Lord brought back a memory I had of my grandfather picking up our family one Saturday morning. Granddaddy was notorious for taking spur-of-the-moment road trips. He drove us to Carter’s Mountain Orchard. I remember ooh’ing and ahh’ing with my parents over the mountains in the distance, and as we finally began the climb up to Carter’s Mountain Orchard, it seemed as if our car was going to fall off the side of the mountain! It was a happy memory- so happy that I could see us moving there. So one day I told David it would be ok for him to look for a job in Charlottesville.

Two CPA firms were hiring. He send off his resumes on a Thursday, had two interviews set up on the following Monday, and we spent the weekend driving around looking for a potential house. It was scary to think of moving away from my family. My oldest daughter was only a year old. We knew no one there, but it seemed like the Lord was lighting up the path for us to GO. David received a job offer, we listed our home for sale by owner, and we had a contract for over our asking price within just a couple of days. It was a complete whirlwind.

So much has happened in 18 years, but it all began with being willing to go wherever He would lead. And that road led me straight to Him! About 5 years later, I felt the Lord calling me into ministry and these have been the BEST years of my life. I have had the joy of serving the Lord in my church through leading worship every Sunday, and even leading small groups, teaching, and preaching… all wonderful.

And then this past January I took a full time position working for a non-profit ministry that I love. I still minister at church and serve as the worship pastor in my free time, so I now have the best of both worlds.

My “babies” aren’t little anymore- 19 and *almost* 17! I am so grateful for His many blessings. I often feel like King David when he says this verse from 2 Samuel 7:18- “Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?”

I am grateful and thankful that He has brought my family here-

and I can whole heartedly say that this is “home” 🙂

Create

Genesis 1:1- In the beginning, God created…

As a pre-teen, I used to sit on my old piano bench and play away my thoughts on the keys. It was therapeutic to let melancholy chords ring while melodies ran through my head. Creating music made me feel alive!

I remember the first time I shared a piano piece I wrote with my piano teacher. I was nervous, but proud of the song I had created. 

I played with hesitation- desperately wanting my teacher’s approval. When I finished, the first thing he said was that I should try this chord instead of that chord …and surely it would sound better if I did it this way instead. Lots of criticism followed. 

I was crushed. I remember thinking surely if I had wanted it that way, I would have already written it that way!

That one moment had a huge impact on me.For many years, I felt like what I created didn’t have value, wasn’t good enough. 

But here’s the thing-we all have a song to sing. How boring it would be if all songs had the same chords and melodies. How bland music would be if we all had the same voice. 

Let Him create something NEW in you- and then pour it out as an offering for His glory! 

manifest

manifest= clear or obvious to the mind

My hubby and I began watching a series on Netflix recently called Manifest. We were hooked from the beginning, as the storyline is very intriguing and the series offers lots of twists and turns.

One of the main themes of the series is Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. This is a verse I quote often, because it’s an encouragement that we are called to follow and seek Him in all things, and a reminder that we can trust He has a greater purpose at work than what we are able to see with our own eyes. We can completely trust that even when we are in a BAD situation, that somehow He is going to use it for His good.

In the show, the survivors of the 5 year plane disappearance hear voices, later referred to “callings”. These callings will at times bring survivors together to solve a puzzle… always leading them to help someone in need and miraculously these callings connect to each other in deeply personal ways with the characters. This is one of the best ways I have seen my walk with Jesus displayed on a screen… and probably one of the easiest ways to describe what it feels like for me to hear that “small whisper” of the Holy Spirit, and to walk with Jesus each day.

Just the other day, I went to a local senior living community to do a worship service in the middle of the week. Honestly, it’s one of the highlights of the week for me. I play and sing a few hymns with the residents, we pray, and I share a short devotional and then close with another song and prayer. It fills my heart with great joy to see the residents clapping, singing, and experiencing the blessing that is corporate worship. When I leave, I always feel like I have made a difference in their lives for Jesus.

And this past week- it was the walk to my car where I heard the “small whisper”.

There are outdoor patio areas for the residents to sit outside of their rooms on the ground floor. It happened to be raining that day as I was heading out to my car. I spotted a lady who was all done up- she looked like Elizabeth Taylor and was strikingly beautiful. She held a book in her hand and was gazing out over the parking lot watching the rain fall.

As clear as day, I felt the Lord telling me to go and speak to her.

I said hi as I approached her and she greeted me.

“Isn’t it just heavenly listening to the rain?” she said to me.

Listening to the rain is one of my favorite things to do. We chatted for just a moment, and then I invited her to join me next week for our time of worship.

“Oh, I’m a life-long atheist,” she replied.

And what struck me was her tone- she was not timid or shy about what she believed, but was confident and proud of her declaration.

I smiled and told her I loved her and would welcome her to join us.

I thought about her statement that the sound of the rain was heavenly.

I think about heaven a lot.

Even our greatest, most pleasurable moments here on earth will pale in comparison to the place He has prepared for us, and I want this special lady to see that place one day.

Romans 8:28… ALL THINGS work together for good. Who knows- maybe I will never see her again. Maybe the Lord simply used me to plant a tiny mustard seed in her heart.

But just maybe I will see her next week for worship!

Romans 8:28

Joy Comes

We planted a baby magnolia tree in our yard several years ago. My husband was gifted it by someone at his work, and we had been thinking of planting something in the center of our circular driveway for some time – so it was the perfect addition to our yard.

Well, knowing my lack of gardening skills, I followed the instructional pamphlet to the t. I watered it with exactly the amount it said, and as often as was instructed -and I couldn’t wait to watch it grow and bloom. After all, magnolia blooms have the most wonderful fragrance.

And it took forEVER to see a flower. At first, there was just one or two. Then the next year there were a few more. And again, at the beginning of the summer it didn’t look like we were going to have any blooms. But after all the rain we have had these past couple of weeks, I looked out and saw not one or two, but a bunch of little flower buds!

It’s amazing how God created all these beautiful trees and plants, and they grow and bloom and reproduce without anyone or anything telling it what to do! It really is a miracle when you think about it!

And as I was out there this morning enjoying the blooms, God reminded me of all the days I saw nothing. All the while that tree was growing and faithful to do what it needed to do to produce the “fruit”.

Be faithful

Keep waiting to see the blooms.

Joy comes in the morning.

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning- Psalm 30:5

In Tune

I had an “aha” moment recently.

Owning two pianos, tuning them regularly can be quite costly. I have a pretty good ear and can tell when a note begins to sound “off”, so I decided to look up tuning kits to see how affordable they were. Much to my surprise, they were pretty inexpensive, so I purchased a piano tuning kit and couldn’t wait for my package to arrive. I mean- how hard could it be to tune a piano?!

My baby grand piano is nearly 100 years old, and has a couple of notes that are notoriously wonky. I love the quirks of owning an antique piano, but I have begun avoiding playing certain notes because they have become so incredibly out of tune- even an untrained ear could hear the somber sound.

The kit arrived on a Sunday afternoon (thanks, Amazon!) and it was like Christmas morning all over again! I watched a couple of videos on piano tuning ahead of time, so I knew a little bit about what I was in for.

I went right to the worst offender- my bass C note- notably the most played key on my piano. I opened the top of the piano and found the bolt that needed adjusting. I loaded a tuning app onto my phone and then placed the tuning wrench on the bolt and pulled it ever so slightly. It didn’t take much turning to change the pitch, but boy did I have to pull to get that bolt to move! A little to the left, a little to the right, and that C sang like a songbird!

But something peculiar happened.

As I played, I noticed that other notes were ever so slightly under pitch compared to the C… so I began tweaking a few more, then even more… until I began at the lowest note and started to work up.

Let me just say that this process was more difficult than I thought! My hands ached from gripping and pulling the tuning wrench, my back was sore from bending over the piano, and it took me hours. But it was totally worth it! And I have a completely new understanding and appreciation for piano technicians and the amount of skill it takes to do this for a living!

I kept thinking about how tuning a piano is so much like being “in tune” with the Holy Spirit. The more you begin to listen and adjust things in your life that are out of tune to Him, the more things you see that need adjusting. I’ll be honest- it is hard for me not to pull out that tuning fork every day to double check the pitches on the piano… but once I start tuning, it will reveal others that also need to be adjusted.

But that’s what our walk with Jesus is about… being in a constant state of tuning to Him.

Tuning our thoughts to His thoughts… our words to His Word… our heart to His.

Abide in me, and I in you- John 15:4

Julievision

I have been listening to a great online course on overthinking by Jon Acuff. In one of the sessions he talked about having empathy for others- as well as for yourself. He describes empathy as “caring about the things that the people you care about care about”.

This really resonates with me. My husband and my daughters all enjoy the Marvel Movies and like to “geek out” over the characters and story lines. I admit that this is something that I have had to work at caring about. It just wasn’t something I was exposed to or watched growing up. But because I love my family, I have learned to find joy in watching these movies with them, too.

We recently watched the Wandavision series on Disney Plus. At first, my hubby told me I wouldn’t enjoy it- so I didn’t need to watch it with him. And then I snuck downstairs one evening, sat on the couch, and was mesmerized by Wanda’s perfectly crafted sitcom world. Who doesn’t dream of having the perfect family like you see on tv?

I asked lots of questions -because although I have watched most of the Marvel movies, I can’t remember anything these days… and the more questions I asked, the more dots were connected.

Wanda had experienced so much personal loss that she created this entire fictional “bubble” for her make-believe family. She controlled every aspect of this world, down to everything that was said. Eventually she began to lose control, and by the end she realized that she couldn’t stay in that perfect bubble- and she said goodbye to her self-made life, causing her to deal with the personal grief and loss she has experienced.

But the biggest dot that was connected for me was that I am so much like Wanda-

I overthink.

I desperately want to protect myself (and my loved ones) from being hurt.

And to do this, I try to control my own environment.

Self-realization is HUGE! Just recognizing our own tendencies opens doors to change.

What’s the remedy?

Moment by moment surrender. Allowing Him full control of my life and of everything around me. Not worrying about what others do or think- but simply resting in Him and trusting in Him in ALL things.

Isn’t it so cool how God uses something like a Marvel TV series as a mirror to reveal something inside of you?

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14

Happy Anniversary to us- 24 years today!