My Density

Back to the Future is one of my all time favorite movies. I love it when George McFly sees his beloved Lorraine and says “You’re my density… I mean, my destiny!”

This past year has brought so much change for my family and I. Some of the changes have been hard, and others have been huge blessings to us. Last January, I left both of my part-time jobs to take on a full time position with a non-profit ministry. It was an exciting challenge, and I really needed a change.

But by summertime, there was an emptiness setting in.

In late August, I saw a random Facebook advertisement for auditions for a community chorus. Well, that’s something I always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of juggling kids and work and all that other stuff. But now, it was something that I could make time for! I emailed the contact person, and they soon called me to set up an audition time.

It was so fulfilling to do the audition! I sang a prepared piece, and then sight read a few pages of music they handed me. It was a piece of cake- and I was so proud of myself for doing something that I had been wanting to do for so long. I hadn’t done an audition or sang in a chorus in nearly 25 years! Shortly after the audition, I received an email saying I had been selected to be in the chamber ensemble chorus.

The first night of practice, I fought back tears as I sang. I didn’t realize how much I had missed making music! It was like finding a piece of myself that I had lost.

I often have dreams- and they are mostly about music. Singing, teaching lessons, directing choirs… I have had these dreams for years. But I have struggled with the idea that being a music teacher is not enough. I have struggled through the years to find the thing God has called me to do, and all the while it has been right in front of me.

A few weeks ago, I called the music studio where I used to teach lessons part time. Are you looking for a voice teacher? I asked the owners.

Julie, we never hired anyone after you because we couldn’t find anyone with the right qualifications.

And in that moment, I felt a peace come over me.

Making music is my density…. er, I mean my destiny.

It’s the one common theme of my life- the thing that brings me the greatest joy and connects me to God. And making music connects me to other people. I LOVE making music with others and helping them to find joy in it!

So, with my husband’s blessing, I stepped out in faith and recently quit my full-time job to pursue teaching voice and piano lessons again. I am ready to pour out my skills and encouragement on others through music. I just know that the Lord has people waiting for me.

But more importantly- I’m just following the Lord’s nudges.

And that IS enough.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.- Jeremiah 29:13

Advertisement

Laundry DJ

On this Thanksgiving morning, I am giving thanks for so many things. One of the things I am most grateful for is my relationship with my daughters.

My “baby” is now in the middle of her senior year in high school, and my oldest in her second year of college- and I couldn’t be more proud of them. Not for the things they do- but for who they are! I love laughing with them and remembering funny things that have happened through the years.

Just the other day we were cracking up about our old washing machine. We have absolutely the WORST luck in buying appliances. In the 18 years we have lived here, we have had multiple refrigerators, multiple dishwashers, washing machines, numerous vacuum cleaners, and we just finally replaced our broken over-the-oven microwave. We “nurse” these half broken appliances for what seems like years until they completely die- and only then do we look for the latest and greatest deal to replace them.

Well, our washing machine had been replaced and wasn’t really that old- but of course, it stopped working.

Now, to be fair- each of us do our own laundry. Some of us put more items in the washing machine than others, so each of us had a different experience when we washed our clothing.

I began hearing each family members groan when they went to switch the clothes into the dryer- because the clothes would still be sopping wet. The drum stopped spinning. It would wash the clothing fine, but every now and then, the spin cycle wouldn’t work. I would work fine for me- but not for my hubby or the girls…

Somehow, they realized that if they opened the top before the spin cycle, you could use your hands to spin the inside of the drum to get it going, and then it would pick up speed and wring the water out of the clothes. This began a season of us waiting for that point in the cycle… and then we would hear someone taking out a few sopping wet items to lessen the load, and then you’d hear the hands slowly spinning the drum. The funny thing is that this became normal.

I remember one day it didn’t spin the clothes for me. I was trying to spin the drum with my hands to get it going- just like I had watched my girls and hubby do- and I was really frustrated that I couldn’t get it spinning. Hearing what I was trying to do, my husband called out to me- “You’re not doing it right!” He then came in and showed me his skilled hand spinning technic. Sure enough- he got it going!

I told him he was the Laundry dj- spinning the drum to get the laundry going. We laughed so hard at the absurdity that we were “laundry dj-ing” for so long!

It was only a month or two later that the washer completely stopped working. And yes, we found a great deal on a new one.

So today I am thankful for funny memories with my daughters and hubby.

And that today, we can wash our clothes by simply pressing the button 🙂

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.- Proverbs 31:25

Do it!!!!

I did a “thing”.

Do people even say that anymore? lol

For YEARS I have longed to sing again in a choir, but between work, family stuff, and ministry commitments, just couldn’t find the time.

But two weeks ago, I kept seeing an add for the Virginia Consort Chorus pop up. Coincidence?

Nothing is a coincidence for people that follow Jesus! Each time I saw the ad pop up, I head that still, small voice say “do it!” Each time I saw the ad, the voice got louder and louder… until after seeing the ad about 10 times, I finally said out loud “Okaaaaaaaay! I’ll do it!”

I auditioned and it felt so good to do something like that after all these years!

We had our first practice this past Monday. It was heavenly to sing again with so many amazingly talented musicians. I am super excited and thankful that it has worked out for me to sing again!

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.- Colossians 3:17

Twins

I am beyond blessed that I “get to” meet up with my older daughter and husband for lunch on occasion during the work week.  It is especially easy since Katie has been doing an internship at David’s work. 

But on this particular day, Katie happened to be off, so David and I planned to meet for lunch- just the two of us. As soon as I was headed to pick up David, Katie texted me to tell me she was at in town running errands. I picked David up, and asked if we should invite Katie to join us. NO- we never get to meet up for lunch alone anymore!

Wouldn’t you know that as I merged onto the main road in front of the restaurant we were headed to, there was none other than Katie RIGHT BEHIND US! We could not escape her.  She called and sheepishly asked where we were headed.  And of course, we told her she could join us.  I mean, what are the chances that she would literally be behind us at that exact moment driving through town?!

Then, as soon as she got out of the car, I realized we were dressed exactly the same! TWINS! How crazy was that?!

TWINS!!

David and I say all the time how blessed we are that our girls actually WANT to eat with us… that they enjoy talking to us and being together. 

And I remind myself daily to be thankful for every moment… because you never know what tomorrow will bring!

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes- James 4:14

On Your Side

Next week my hubby and I will celebrate our “date-a-versary”. That’s what we call the anniversary of our first date. On August 19th, it will be 28 years. How can I be that old?!?

What a blessing it is for me to go from high school years, to college years, and then to be able to build a family with one man by my side. Aside from my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with my hubby is one of the things I am most proud of. I ain’t gonna lie- marriage is hard– but it is worth it! We disagree, we argue at times, but we have both learned that above all else, at the end of the day we love and CHOOSE to love each other unconditionally.

I had something funny happen last night. I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (like I always do), and when I got back in bed, I felt his arm SMACK me across the top of my head. He had simply turned over and threw his arm out in his sleep.

“Ummm…. that is MY SIDE of the bed!” I said to him in an annoyed manner. I then pretended to karate-chop his arm with my hand at the end of “his side” and the beginning of “mine”.

And then he said the sweetest thing in his sleep-

“I’m always on your side”.

Sigh.

Isn’t that was love is all about?

Home

Yesterday was a special anniversary for us-18 years ago on July 10th, we moved to Charlottesville.

If you had asked me even a month before we made the decision to move, I would have told you there was NO WAY we would EVER leave our hometown. Our entire family was there- and so was everyone and everything we had ever known…but my husband was looking for a job and there were literally no companies that were hiring at that time. I remember him saying we might need to move somewhere for me to find a job. And my first thoughts are always selfish ones. NO WAY am I moving.

And the Lord brought back a memory I had of my grandfather picking up our family one Saturday morning. Granddaddy was notorious for taking spur-of-the-moment road trips. He drove us to Carter’s Mountain Orchard. I remember ooh’ing and ahh’ing with my parents over the mountains in the distance, and as we finally began the climb up to Carter’s Mountain Orchard, it seemed as if our car was going to fall off the side of the mountain! It was a happy memory- so happy that I could see us moving there. So one day I told David it would be ok for him to look for a job in Charlottesville.

Two CPA firms were hiring. He send off his resumes on a Thursday, had two interviews set up on the following Monday, and we spent the weekend driving around looking for a potential house. It was scary to think of moving away from my family. My oldest daughter was only a year old. We knew no one there, but it seemed like the Lord was lighting up the path for us to GO. David received a job offer, we listed our home for sale by owner, and we had a contract for over our asking price within just a couple of days. It was a complete whirlwind.

So much has happened in 18 years, but it all began with being willing to go wherever He would lead. And that road led me straight to Him! About 5 years later, I felt the Lord calling me into ministry and these have been the BEST years of my life. I have had the joy of serving the Lord in my church through leading worship every Sunday, and even leading small groups, teaching, and preaching… all wonderful.

And then this past January I took a full time position working for a non-profit ministry that I love. I still minister at church and serve as the worship pastor in my free time, so I now have the best of both worlds.

My “babies” aren’t little anymore- 19 and *almost* 17! I am so grateful for His many blessings. I often feel like King David when he says this verse from 2 Samuel 7:18- “Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?

I am grateful and thankful that He has brought my family here-

and I can whole heartedly say that this is “home” 🙂

I Got a Robe

I got a robe for Christmas.

If you watch SNL, you will laugh at that. They did a parody video a few years back about how everyone else in the family gets all these awesome gifts, and the mom gets a robe. Why? Because most of the time moms are the one that do the majority of the shopping and cooking and planning for the holidays!

But the funny thing was that I actually DID ask for a robe. My husband bought me a robe for Christmas the first year we were dating. It was a super plush, red, terrycloth robe from Victorias Secret. That thing was indestructible! Can you believe that I have worn this robe for… drum roll….. 27 years?! That is just insane. Mainly because I can’t possibly be that old.

But anyway, I figured after 27 years, it was time to retire the robe for a new one.

But really, the best gift was not under the tree. (and I know, I know… the best gift is Jesus)

But the OTHER best gift (besides Jesus) was spending time with my family. We got to see *almost* our entire family this year and it was great! And then after Christmas, my hubby and the girls and I always go out to have brunch and then the girls and I go shopping. I never knew how much joy it would bring me to spend time having fun with my girls as they have gotten older. As they have gotten older, we are able to enjoy each other’s company, laugh together, shop together, and our shopping excursions would not be complete without a Starbucks coffee run!

The greatest gift for me isn’t the presents. It’s ALL about being in the presence of the people I love.

I am thankful.

In your presence there is fullness of joy- Psalm 16:11

driving in my car

One of my favorite things to do with my husband is to drive around and watch the sunset. Maybe it’s because driving is how we fell in love all those years ago…

When I found myself without a car to get to and from work as a teen, my boss asked a co-workers to pick me up and take me home every shift that I was scheduled to work. My co-worker became my boyfriend in a few short months, and about 18 months later we were married. We are approaching our 25th wedding anniversary this March.

It was on those drives to and from work as a teen that we fell in love. The conversation easily flowed, and we talked about nothing and everything all at the same time.

And in these days where life is busy and our teen girls are more like adults than “girls”, it is one of my favorite things do to- jump into the car with my husband and just drive around. We are instantly transported to the care-free days of long ago, when all we had was each other and a pocket full of dreams.

This is a song I wrote about our drives together. It’s usually me driving- because long ago we made a rule- whomever drives gets to choose the music!

“Driving in my car”

Driving in my car with you

There’s nothing else I’d rather do 

Than spend my days siting next to you 

Driving in my car with you 

And we’ve got no where to go 

But I know where we’re going 

We’ve got miles and miles 

Of roads to drive 

As we chase the twilight sky 

Driving in my car with you 

As we reminisce of days gone by 

The setting sun shining in our eyes

But the time with you is my true prize 

Driving in my car with you 

We fix our gaze on He  who knew 

We’d  sit side by side, 

Hand in Hand 

With the Son in view 

Life is grand

Spilled Out

This year has been a challenge for everyone for so many different reasons. Covid, quarantine, masks, virtual school, changed routines... the list goes on and on… but I am super proud of our daughters and how they have not just “survived” this school year- they have THRIVED! My oldest is a senior and my youngest is a sophomore in high school. All my “senior” wanted to do this year was to go to Orlando Florida to Universal Studios to celebrate her graduation.

When we looked into packages, we realized it was way cheaper for us to go in the spring instead of the heat of summer, so we spent the last week in Florida- and it was AMAZING!

Our family, along with one of the girls’ closest friends, spent a full 7 days together. The schedule was not for the faint of heart- my senior had a list of must-do things at Universal- one of which was riding a new Harry Potter themed roller coaster- “Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Ride”. I found out that on the opening day of this ride, people actually waited in line for 10 HOURS to ride it! Did I say 10 HOURS?!?!? When I found that out, I wasn’t sure if we would actually make it on this ride or not! But all things worked out, and after only a couple of hours waiting, we were able to ride it 2 times! (and it was TOTALLY worth the wait!!!)

We walked over 8 miles a day when we were at Universal… and basically stood in line for hours every day. But something amazing happened- we actually ENJOYED being together! We were tired, but we had the best time!

One of the gift shops had this quirky “Thing 1 and Thing 2” Dr Seuss coffee cup that we fell in love with. The girls said that it was definitely a “need” for me, since I love coffee so much. It was my last purchase while we were at the park.

This morning, I pulled out that new mug and watched the Keurig fill it up with coffee to the tippy top. The funny thing is that the top is actually tilted- it looks like two coffee cups stacked on top of one another, so it’s quirky for sure! And wouldn’t you know it- as soon as I picked it up, the coffee spilled out. I guess it’s hard to hold an uneven topped coffee cup straight 🙂

I am so thankful for the amazing week with my family- and their special friend who is very much like a part of our family. There wasn’t a single moment that entire week that I wished I was home, or that I could be alone, or go off by myself to “recharge”. That week reminded me of how much I love my family, how much I enjoy their company, and how blessed I am. I didn’t know how badly I needed that week with them! Isn’t it funny how this gift to our “senior” turned out being a gift for all of us 🙂 Who would have known that to “recharge”, I needed to spend MORE time with my family?!

As my coffee spilled out this morning, I felt joy spilling out of me.

It’s good to be home…but I will never forget the amazing week we had together.

Lord, You alone are my portion and my cup- Psalm 16:5

The best coffee cup EVER
me and my bff
Hogwarts Castle
My hubby and his favorite ride- Spiderman!
The dragon in Dragon Alley
All in the family
my “senior”
The sunset on the ride home

Julievision

I have been listening to a great online course on overthinking by Jon Acuff. In one of the sessions he talked about having empathy for others- as well as for yourself. He describes empathy as “caring about the things that the people you care about care about”.

This really resonates with me. My husband and my daughters all enjoy the Marvel Movies and like to “geek out” over the characters and story lines. I admit that this is something that I have had to work at caring about. It just wasn’t something I was exposed to or watched growing up. But because I love my family, I have learned to find joy in watching these movies with them, too.

We recently watched the Wandavision series on Disney Plus. At first, my hubby told me I wouldn’t enjoy it- so I didn’t need to watch it with him. And then I snuck downstairs one evening, sat on the couch, and was mesmerized by Wanda’s perfectly crafted sitcom world. Who doesn’t dream of having the perfect family like you see on tv?

I asked lots of questions -because although I have watched most of the Marvel movies, I can’t remember anything these days… and the more questions I asked, the more dots were connected.

Wanda had experienced so much personal loss that she created this entire fictional “bubble” for her make-believe family. She controlled every aspect of this world, down to everything that was said. Eventually she began to lose control, and by the end she realized that she couldn’t stay in that perfect bubble- and she said goodbye to her self-made life, causing her to deal with the personal grief and loss she has experienced.

But the biggest dot that was connected for me was that I am so much like Wanda-

I overthink.

I desperately want to protect myself (and my loved ones) from being hurt.

And to do this, I try to control my own environment.

Self-realization is HUGE! Just recognizing our own tendencies opens doors to change.

What’s the remedy?

Moment by moment surrender. Allowing Him full control of my life and of everything around me. Not worrying about what others do or think- but simply resting in Him and trusting in Him in ALL things.

Isn’t it so cool how God uses something like a Marvel TV series as a mirror to reveal something inside of you?

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14

Happy Anniversary to us- 24 years today!