be the church

One of the things I love doing in the car when I am driving alone is to pray out loud. I just start talking to the Lord and I will start off praying about something and then it’s like He puts other people and things to pray for in my thoughts… so I just keep on praying until I get to my destination. When I am driving to teach music lessons, I pray for my students. I pray for each of them and then pray that He would use me in their lives for His glory.

As I was praying the other day, He gave me this amazing thought – some of your students don’t know who I am… and some of them have never even been to a church. But YOU are the church because you are my disciple and my Spirit lives in you… so when your students come to take lessons from you- it’s sort of like they are going to “church”.

And then I prayed that He would give me opportunities to do just that- be the church!

And guess what happened? One of my students mentioned that she had gone on a youth retreat this past weekend. She had a great time, but the whole week afterwards had been very challenging. The Lord prompted me to ask her if she would like to sing worship songs during her lessons.

She mentioned a song that she really liked- and it was one I knew by heart. I began to play the piano introduction, and her whole demeanor changed. She closed her eyes and sang with emotion. I told her this was the kind of music that would help encourage her when she was feeling down.

When our lesson was over, I shared with her mom about our conversation and that we would also work on singing a few worship songs. Her eyes lit up, and then she opened her jacket to show me her t-shirt which read “Jesus is dope”. She shared with me that they had just gotten back into a church after going through a tough time.

And then I planted a seed- I said who knows? Maybe the Lord will have your daughter singing and leading worship at your church one day!

It was one of several amazing holy spirit- led conversations I had that day. I often wonder- would these conversations have happened if I hadn’t have prayed for these opportunities?

You are the body of Christ. Each one of you is a part of it. – 1 Corinthians 12:27

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I had just left church to grab lunch for David and I. Both of us have been under the weather for what seems like weeks. David stayed home from church and I went, but I had no voice. That is no fun leading worship when you don’t have a voice to sing or even speak. BUT we have an awesome worship team- and it’s not about me anyways! So I got to worship through playing piano and the team really stepped up and sang their hearts out!

It was a little weird leaving church without my hubby, and I wasn’t feeling the best either. I have been discouraged because I have not felt well for weeks now and after a while it gets you down, know what I mean?! Anyway, I got to the restaurant and gave them my to-go order, paid, and then sat down in a chair to wait for it.

I took out my phone, and immediately put it back in my bag. I just felt like was going to miss out on something. Who would have thought I had FOMO on being PRESENT?! That’s something I need to do more of!

I happened to look at the line of people waiting to order, and there was a really sweet couple standing at the register ordering their food. It was taking them a while to order, and the cashier was being so patient with them. This was a special couple- they both appeared to have down syndrome, and they kept staring at each other- grinning from ear to ear! It was the absolute most beautiful thing to see two people so in love. They stood there for a moment, and then a lady came up behind them to give them money. She looked like she was possibly the mother of one of them. They paid for the order and then took the change with absolute glee.

I was honestly a little jealous of their child-like wonder. They were so filled with joy- just standing there together in love, not a care in the world, their smiles lighting up the whole room. Nothing else mattered. In that moment I began to think about all of the moms through the years who have been faced with the prospect of having a child with special needs. How many special needs pregnancies have been terminated due to fear of the unknown, not knowing if they could handle raising a child that was different? Or maybe they were pressured by doctors to make a choice they hadn’t even considered being an option. I began to cry sitting there in the restaurant. I was filled with joy watching the two of them, and my joyful tears spilled out.

My number was called, and I grabbed my to-go order. I really wanted to speak to the mom but I didn’t know what to say. In a split second, I realized the only clear path out of the restaurant was right in front of this lady’s table. I walked up to the table and asked her if she was related to the couple at the register. She smiled so proudly. “Yes, that is my son.” I told her that I saw the love and joy they had on their faces and that it was very moving. She said that they had just recently gotten engaged to each other. How wonderful. I told her I just wanted to let her know that their beautiful smiles and the love and joy on their faces really blessed me. She smiled and said “they bless me every day!”

We have all been created by Him for His purpose. I don’t know if that couple knew Jesus, but I can tell you that the love of Jesus radiated all around them.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16

Happenstance

One of the best things about leaving my full time job recently is that I have more time to do things I love! And the awesome thing is that the more time I make for Him, the more I see Him at work around me.

Like Wednesday.

Wednesday mornings I go to a senior living center and do a mini worship service- we sing hymns, I sing a special song or two, and then I share a 10 minute devotional with them. It is one of the highlights of my week! Since I knew I would already be in town, I also arranged to meet a new friend for lunch. This is someone I had just met- but the Lord led me to reach out and spend time with her.

On the way to meet her, I kept thinking about one of my friends whom I hadn’t spoken to in several weeks. I’m going to call her on the way home, I thought to myself as I pulled up to the restaurant. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and my new friend got there at the same time as I.

We ordered and then sat down to eat. After about 5 minutes, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. Would you believe it was the SAME person that I was going to call that afternoon?! This is someone who hardly goes out… and here she was in the same restaurant as I! And then I look over at her table, and there was another friend from church with her. I couldn’t believe it. But then, there is no such thing as happenstance when we walk with God!

After our lunch, I took my new friend to introduce her to my friend. After the introductions, both of these precious ladies shared with me some prayer requests. Hard situations with no real answers. I have learned through the years, that prayer IS the most important thing we can ever do for people. “Let’s pray now, ” I said as I grabbed their hands.

And right in the restaurant we went to the Father, interceding in prayer for these situations. There was a sense of peace that came over me as I prayed. I can’t explain it other than I know God wanted me to be there at that moment doing exactly what I was doing.

As I drove home, I praised God for how he orchestrates the steps of my life. I am so thankful that I “get to” serve Him in all these little, meaningful ways!

And what a blessing to know that we can BE the church- right in the middle of a restaurant!

Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.

– Psalm 119:133

My Density

Back to the Future is one of my all time favorite movies. I love it when George McFly sees his beloved Lorraine and says “You’re my density… I mean, my destiny!”

This past year has brought so much change for my family and I. Some of the changes have been hard, and others have been huge blessings to us. Last January, I left both of my part-time jobs to take on a full time position with a non-profit ministry. It was an exciting challenge, and I really needed a change.

But by summertime, there was an emptiness setting in.

In late August, I saw a random Facebook advertisement for auditions for a community chorus. Well, that’s something I always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of juggling kids and work and all that other stuff. But now, it was something that I could make time for! I emailed the contact person, and they soon called me to set up an audition time.

It was so fulfilling to do the audition! I sang a prepared piece, and then sight read a few pages of music they handed me. It was a piece of cake- and I was so proud of myself for doing something that I had been wanting to do for so long. I hadn’t done an audition or sang in a chorus in nearly 25 years! Shortly after the audition, I received an email saying I had been selected to be in the chamber ensemble chorus.

The first night of practice, I fought back tears as I sang. I didn’t realize how much I had missed making music! It was like finding a piece of myself that I had lost.

I often have dreams- and they are mostly about music. Singing, teaching lessons, directing choirs… I have had these dreams for years. But I have struggled with the idea that being a music teacher is not enough. I have struggled through the years to find the thing God has called me to do, and all the while it has been right in front of me.

A few weeks ago, I called the music studio where I used to teach lessons part time. Are you looking for a voice teacher? I asked the owners.

Julie, we never hired anyone after you because we couldn’t find anyone with the right qualifications.

And in that moment, I felt a peace come over me.

Making music is my density…. er, I mean my destiny.

It’s the one common theme of my life- the thing that brings me the greatest joy and connects me to God. And making music connects me to other people. I LOVE making music with others and helping them to find joy in it!

So, with my husband’s blessing, I stepped out in faith and recently quit my full-time job to pursue teaching voice and piano lessons again. I am ready to pour out my skills and encouragement on others through music. I just know that the Lord has people waiting for me.

But more importantly- I’m just following the Lord’s nudges.

And that IS enough.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.- Jeremiah 29:13

On Your Side

Next week my hubby and I will celebrate our “date-a-versary”. That’s what we call the anniversary of our first date. On August 19th, it will be 28 years. How can I be that old?!?

What a blessing it is for me to go from high school years, to college years, and then to be able to build a family with one man by my side. Aside from my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with my hubby is one of the things I am most proud of. I ain’t gonna lie- marriage is hard– but it is worth it! We disagree, we argue at times, but we have both learned that above all else, at the end of the day we love and CHOOSE to love each other unconditionally.

I had something funny happen last night. I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (like I always do), and when I got back in bed, I felt his arm SMACK me across the top of my head. He had simply turned over and threw his arm out in his sleep.

“Ummm…. that is MY SIDE of the bed!” I said to him in an annoyed manner. I then pretended to karate-chop his arm with my hand at the end of “his side” and the beginning of “mine”.

And then he said the sweetest thing in his sleep-

“I’m always on your side”.

Sigh.

Isn’t that was love is all about?

Home

Yesterday was a special anniversary for us-18 years ago on July 10th, we moved to Charlottesville.

If you had asked me even a month before we made the decision to move, I would have told you there was NO WAY we would EVER leave our hometown. Our entire family was there- and so was everyone and everything we had ever known…but my husband was looking for a job and there were literally no companies that were hiring at that time. I remember him saying we might need to move somewhere for me to find a job. And my first thoughts are always selfish ones. NO WAY am I moving.

And the Lord brought back a memory I had of my grandfather picking up our family one Saturday morning. Granddaddy was notorious for taking spur-of-the-moment road trips. He drove us to Carter’s Mountain Orchard. I remember ooh’ing and ahh’ing with my parents over the mountains in the distance, and as we finally began the climb up to Carter’s Mountain Orchard, it seemed as if our car was going to fall off the side of the mountain! It was a happy memory- so happy that I could see us moving there. So one day I told David it would be ok for him to look for a job in Charlottesville.

Two CPA firms were hiring. He send off his resumes on a Thursday, had two interviews set up on the following Monday, and we spent the weekend driving around looking for a potential house. It was scary to think of moving away from my family. My oldest daughter was only a year old. We knew no one there, but it seemed like the Lord was lighting up the path for us to GO. David received a job offer, we listed our home for sale by owner, and we had a contract for over our asking price within just a couple of days. It was a complete whirlwind.

So much has happened in 18 years, but it all began with being willing to go wherever He would lead. And that road led me straight to Him! About 5 years later, I felt the Lord calling me into ministry and these have been the BEST years of my life. I have had the joy of serving the Lord in my church through leading worship every Sunday, and even leading small groups, teaching, and preaching… all wonderful.

And then this past January I took a full time position working for a non-profit ministry that I love. I still minister at church and serve as the worship pastor in my free time, so I now have the best of both worlds.

My “babies” aren’t little anymore- 19 and *almost* 17! I am so grateful for His many blessings. I often feel like King David when he says this verse from 2 Samuel 7:18- “Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?”

I am grateful and thankful that He has brought my family here-

and I can whole heartedly say that this is “home” 🙂

In Winter

keep walking in winter

though the cold makes you shiver 

there’s growth to be found 

Buried deep in the ground 

In winter 

Keep walking in winter 

Though the frost may be bitter 

Barren fields lie in wait 

For the sunlight to breakthrough

In winter 

Season come 

And seasons go 

Every moment

leads to growth 

Like seeds our change 

Is happening 

In places unseen 

Seasons come and seasons go 

In every one of them

I know that

You’re working 

Deep below In winter 

Keep walking in winter 

Don’t be a quitter 

Keep your eyes on the prize 

therein our joy lies

In winter 

My snow buddies- the real reason I go walking in winter 🙂

a frosty delight 🙂

Even trees need to “lean in” to the Son.

Is that popcorn on my branches?!

I am a “morning” person by nature, but ever since the time change this past November, my dogs have wanted to get up before the crack of dawn. Literally. I mean like 5am sometimes. I have always been a light sleeper- and I can hear their faint high pitch whimper… which slowly turns into a deep, guttural “ARF”! The “boys” are getting older, and when they’ve gotta go, well- they’ve gotta go!

So I am usually out walking with them sometimes as early as 6am. I have learned the hard way that it is much more enjoyable when I take the time to actually prepare for this walk ahead of time. If you know me- the less I have to bring with me the better! But these chilly mornings beg for socks, snow boots, a hat, scarf, gloves, and a winter coat.

I hate wearing all that stuff, because I feel like I am weighed down. But deep down I know that preparation is everything. Just like I prepare myself to brace the cold, I have to also prepare my heart and mind each day for the spiritual walk…
so that I can be prepared to weather whatever storm comes my way 🙂

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.- 1 Peter 1:13

I Got a Robe

I got a robe for Christmas.

If you watch SNL, you will laugh at that. They did a parody video a few years back about how everyone else in the family gets all these awesome gifts, and the mom gets a robe. Why? Because most of the time moms are the one that do the majority of the shopping and cooking and planning for the holidays!

But the funny thing was that I actually DID ask for a robe. My husband bought me a robe for Christmas the first year we were dating. It was a super plush, red, terrycloth robe from Victorias Secret. That thing was indestructible! Can you believe that I have worn this robe for… drum roll….. 27 years?! That is just insane. Mainly because I can’t possibly be that old.

But anyway, I figured after 27 years, it was time to retire the robe for a new one.

But really, the best gift was not under the tree. (and I know, I know… the best gift is Jesus)

But the OTHER best gift (besides Jesus) was spending time with my family. We got to see *almost* our entire family this year and it was great! And then after Christmas, my hubby and the girls and I always go out to have brunch and then the girls and I go shopping. I never knew how much joy it would bring me to spend time having fun with my girls as they have gotten older. As they have gotten older, we are able to enjoy each other’s company, laugh together, shop together, and our shopping excursions would not be complete without a Starbucks coffee run!

The greatest gift for me isn’t the presents. It’s ALL about being in the presence of the people I love.

I am thankful.

In your presence there is fullness of joy- Psalm 16:11

Create

Genesis 1:1- In the beginning, God created…

As a pre-teen, I used to sit on my old piano bench and play away my thoughts on the keys. It was therapeutic to let melancholy chords ring while melodies ran through my head. Creating music made me feel alive!

I remember the first time I shared a piano piece I wrote with my piano teacher. I was nervous, but proud of the song I had created. 

I played with hesitation- desperately wanting my teacher’s approval. When I finished, the first thing he said was that I should try this chord instead of that chord …and surely it would sound better if I did it this way instead. Lots of criticism followed. 

I was crushed. I remember thinking surely if I had wanted it that way, I would have already written it that way!

That one moment had a huge impact on me.For many years, I felt like what I created didn’t have value, wasn’t good enough. 

But here’s the thing-we all have a song to sing. How boring it would be if all songs had the same chords and melodies. How bland music would be if we all had the same voice. 

Let Him create something NEW in you- and then pour it out as an offering for His glory! 

manifest

manifest= clear or obvious to the mind

My hubby and I began watching a series on Netflix recently called Manifest. We were hooked from the beginning, as the storyline is very intriguing and the series offers lots of twists and turns.

One of the main themes of the series is Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. This is a verse I quote often, because it’s an encouragement that we are called to follow and seek Him in all things, and a reminder that we can trust He has a greater purpose at work than what we are able to see with our own eyes. We can completely trust that even when we are in a BAD situation, that somehow He is going to use it for His good.

In the show, the survivors of the 5 year plane disappearance hear voices, later referred to “callings”. These callings will at times bring survivors together to solve a puzzle… always leading them to help someone in need and miraculously these callings connect to each other in deeply personal ways with the characters. This is one of the best ways I have seen my walk with Jesus displayed on a screen… and probably one of the easiest ways to describe what it feels like for me to hear that “small whisper” of the Holy Spirit, and to walk with Jesus each day.

Just the other day, I went to a local senior living community to do a worship service in the middle of the week. Honestly, it’s one of the highlights of the week for me. I play and sing a few hymns with the residents, we pray, and I share a short devotional and then close with another song and prayer. It fills my heart with great joy to see the residents clapping, singing, and experiencing the blessing that is corporate worship. When I leave, I always feel like I have made a difference in their lives for Jesus.

And this past week- it was the walk to my car where I heard the “small whisper”.

There are outdoor patio areas for the residents to sit outside of their rooms on the ground floor. It happened to be raining that day as I was heading out to my car. I spotted a lady who was all done up- she looked like Elizabeth Taylor and was strikingly beautiful. She held a book in her hand and was gazing out over the parking lot watching the rain fall.

As clear as day, I felt the Lord telling me to go and speak to her.

I said hi as I approached her and she greeted me.

“Isn’t it just heavenly listening to the rain?” she said to me.

Listening to the rain is one of my favorite things to do. We chatted for just a moment, and then I invited her to join me next week for our time of worship.

“Oh, I’m a life-long atheist,” she replied.

And what struck me was her tone- she was not timid or shy about what she believed, but was confident and proud of her declaration.

I smiled and told her I loved her and would welcome her to join us.

I thought about her statement that the sound of the rain was heavenly.

I think about heaven a lot.

Even our greatest, most pleasurable moments here on earth will pale in comparison to the place He has prepared for us, and I want this special lady to see that place one day.

Romans 8:28… ALL THINGS work together for good. Who knows- maybe I will never see her again. Maybe the Lord simply used me to plant a tiny mustard seed in her heart.

But just maybe I will see her next week for worship!

Romans 8:28