the struggle is real

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The struggle is real 

only a glimpse in sight 

of  our dreamy skies 

both morning and night  

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the struggle is real 

the frustration high

all I wanna do 

is see a clear view of the sky!  

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Isn’t it funny how our priorities change over time?

When we first moved into our home over 11 years ago, I didn’t really think about the view from our house.  I was just happy to have a new home to raise our baby in.  Since then I had another baby and well… now they aren’t really babies at all anymore. Now I wish more than anything that I had a clear view of the sky around me!

Every morning and evening, my youngest daughter will come find me when she notices the sky changing colors. “Momma, you have to go outside NOW!”  she will say to me.

I’m not sure when exactly I became so fascinated with looking at the sky.  I remember as a little girl laying in the grass on my back and staring at clouds.  Life seemed so simple then.  When I look up to heaven, I feel all the cares of the day melt away.

Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7

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But you know what else I see?  Lots and lots of cotton-balled clouds that are shielding the sun from my eyes… so why it is that they don’t “get in the way” of my view?  In fact, they give the light something to reflect off of, making it even more lovely. The clouds don’t detract from the light, they diffract it 🙂

If only I could see things that way in my personal life.

All those little things that I get frustrated about, all the things that seem to block the view of the Son- just maybe He is waiting for me to see His light shining through those circumstances.

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  

Isaiah 41:13

And the greatest purpose of all?

To draw me closer to Him- one moment at a time.

I need thee, oh, I need thee;
Ev’ry hour I need thee!
Oh, bless me now, my Savior;
I come to thee!  
(Annie S. Hawks, 1835-1918)

Fretting

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Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Luke 12:25

For many years, I thought that worrying was equated with love- and that worrying was a good thing. After all, you don’t worry about something that isn’t important to you- or to someone you love.

It’s been a long, arduous process, but I am learning to drop those worries on His door step, one by one.  But some days I pick them back up.

And that’s what happened to me recently.

Nothing of great importance, but lots and lots of little things creeped into my thoughts and I found myself fretting over everything– and I mean EVERYTHING.

Doesn’t it seem like everything falls apart all at once?  That’s what happened in my home.  I tell my husband all the time that I am not good at being an “adult”.  As crazy as it sounds, even something as simple as calling a repair person to come fix an appliance gives me anxiety.

Philippians 4:6- be anxious for nothing

As the worship team and I were practicing and preparing for the service on Sunday, I found myself once again fretting and worrying about so many little things.  The song we were practicing was called “Cast My Cares”.  Tears started to flow down my cheeks as I played the piano and made mistake after mistake.  I stopped in the middle of the song and said we had to start again- and that it was all my fault.

 Instead of casting my cares on Him-  I had spent an entire week worrying. And it’s like a snowball… the worries start out small, but one leads to another and before you know it, it’s a GIANT out-of-control snowball rolling down a hill.  All week long I practiced and sang the words of that song, and yet I had not heeded it’s message.

In those few seconds before we played the song again, I surrendered ALL my worries to Him.  And just like that- I was able to freely worship!

The picture and quote at the top of the page is one that I saw this morning, and these words hit me like a ton of bricks-

we can’t worry and worship at the same time.

Worrying doesn’t help anything- and it doesn’t change our circumstances.  Worry leads to doubt… and when we worry, we’re not trusting God and His Word.

Instead of being a “worrier”- I want to be a warrior for Him!

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  Isaiah 41:10

 *image and quote found on http://bootcampbarre.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/worship763c42eee263343cdff439baa.jpg